Critters Screen Cap

Critters (1986)

First there was Gremlins, then there was Critters. Critters is one of those cheesy sci-fi flicks that came out in the 80’s as an answer to a film by another company. While this is tactic has been denied, there are a lot of similarities between the two. Fans will never know what is true for sure, but at any rate we all received a very nice bit of 80’s cheese out of it!

Critters PosterCritters is about a race of small fuzzy aliens that escape from a prison asteroid, crash land in a small American town, and reek havoc on its inhabitants. Critters is all good fun, while its defiantly not cinematic gold, it has its charm. The creatures themselves are the best part of the film. They all have their own personality and in-turn makes the film a lot more entertaining.

The film boasts some nice puppet and practical effects, and one of my favorite songs from an 80’s movie “Power Of The Night” by the fictional rocker Johnny Steele. That song is just classic 80’s! The lyrics are so funny and the song makes about 2000 appearances in the film as well which add to the hilarity.

Critters stars Dee Wallace (Stone), Scott Grimes and Don Keith Opper. While the acting is defiantly typical 80’s, the actors add a bit of humility to roles. Dee Wallace screams some more and Scott Grimes causes entertaining mischief. The film also sports a younger, fuller haired Billy Zane in his second feature film role. Just wait till you get a load of that hair!

This film is just all around fun. I would recommend this to anyone who hasn’t seen it or is looking to kill some time with a fun sci-fi creature feature. This rather simple formulaic effort gets a 3 out of 5 stabs for the sheer fun of the film!

GLP Rating:

3 stabs

Bloody Bible Camp Screen Cap

Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (2011)

It seems like comedy and horror seem to be melding together a lot in recent years. Typically I am not much of a fan of the 2 genres together, but recently a slew of comedy slashers have been peeking their ugly little faces out of the proverbial horror vagina. Not to mention they have been good if not great combinations of the 2 genres. Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (BBBC) is no exception. This fallen angel of a flick will have you rolling with laughter and cringing with disgust simultaneously…and its totally fucking worth it

BBBC is low budget horror flick by Vito Trabucco and Shelby McIntyre. Basically without spoiling anything, BBBC is about a Bible Camp in 1977 that is decimated after a crazed killer in a nun costume picks off the campers one by one. 7 years later (1984) another church decides to chance the tainted camp and take some new campers out for a weekend of worship and love. But someone is lurking in the woods waiting for the right moment to unleash terror on the camps bible thumping occupants.

bloody bloody bible campI really loved this movie, I laughed literally 75% of the movie. The comedy lines were well written by Vito and Shelby and the actors did a tremendous job of haming it up for the camera. If I had to describe the movie using other films it would be a combination of Friday the 13th and every 80’s sex comedy. The movie works, it does its thing and is highly entertaining, it does have its flaws but they are mostly minor and I’ll get to a few in a bit. I love that the movie is set in the 70’s and 80’s, you get a blast of lingo, style, and references that are sure to make any 70’s and 80’s horror/ film buff smile.

The film stars Reggie Banister of Phantasm fame, Ivet Corvea, Matthew Aidan, Jessica Sonneborn, Deborah Venegas, Christopher Raff and a few more. I think everyone did a great job in this film. Mattthew and Christopher were the stand outs for me, their little montage had me laughing hysterically. There is a surprise cameo from Mr. Long Dick himself, Ron Jeremy, that will leave you saying…what the fuck!?!

The special effects are great, there is a slew of awesome death scenes the will have may a gorehounds drooling at the mouth. You get some decaps, an axe to the vag, some nice stabbings, and a serious head crushing scene that you have to see to believe. The viewers also get a hefty does of skin and a sex scene in the beginning that will make you cry from laughing so hard.

As I said before this film is not without its faults. There are some editing mishaps, and the most tragic of the issues is the final 10 or so minutes. At a certain point the film goes from a happy meld of comedy-slash to completely over the top silliness that I could have done without. While it tries to redeem itself by finally laying out the killers story, (which had the view had been seeing glimpses of throughout the film) the overboard silliness really distracted from what could have been a great ending. However that still doesn’t completely take away from the overall success of the film.

BBBC is a hilariously bloody romp through cliches of the church and one hell of a fun ride. The film legitimately succeeds in the first 3 acts but falls a bit short on the 4th. Regardless the film is a much watch in the horror community. GLP gives this slasherriffic horror-comedy a 4 out of 5 stabs for overall story, look, and gore. You can check it out on Amazon, there are a few DVD’s available as well you can buy the digital copy there.

GLP Rating:

4 stabs

Mask Maker Screen Cap

Mask Maker (2010)

With so many unknown and turkey titles its great to find the nice diamonds in the rough. Mask Maker is no exception.

Mask MakerMask Maker is about a young couple who buy an old farm house in hopes of flipping the property to make some money and finally get married. The more time they spend in the house, the more they find out about the homes tumultuous past. This film surprised me, I went into the film with low expectations and came out of it a believer.

The acting in this film was pretty good. Nikki Deloach does a great job with the leading lady role, she carries with film and really brought a genuine feel to the character. The rest of the cast does a good job as well. Every character seemed legit, and we all pretty likable. Veteran’s Michael Berryman, Treat Williams, and Terry Kiser make appearances in the film and do great as usual.

The downfall of the film is the killer. Nothing special to talk about here, which is a rather big bummer. The films killer is like a cross between Jason and Leatherface, and his motives are about as generic as they come. I feel like with the story the film created the killer could have been a lot cooler. The only gripe have with this film is the killer, although he is slightly redeemed in the end. All in all too generic for me.

The films special effects are the strongest part of the film. The gore, and kills are impressive. I am not a fan of cg effects but it seemed the film used them in a moderate manner, and also mixed in great practical effects as well. The gorehounds will be happy with this modern slasher. We get stabbings, decapitations, skinnings, and a pretty sweet meat hooking…sort of.  The fans of T&A are surprisingly rewarded with some very nice booties, and a couple beautiful pairs too.

All in all the film was a pleasant surprise. Mask Maker serves up a rather by the numbers slasher flick with good acting. The biggest down fall of the film is unfortunately its killer but the gore and nudity make up for the lack of creativity. GLP gives this mediocre slasher a solid 3 out of 5 stabs for good story, acting, and gore. Check out this film on DVD.

GLP Rating:

3 stabs

twixt screen cap

Twixt (2012)


Have you ever finished a movie, and while the credits are rolling ask yourself, “What were they thinking?” Well that’s exactly what I did after watching this next film. With a film that had as much hype behind is as this one, I was surprised at the outcome. What was the killer of the film? Read on for my thoughts.

TwixtTwixt is about a struggling writer named Hall Baltimore (Val Kilmer) who has resorted to drinking and the moniker of “a bargain basement Stephen King”. Hall is tired of writing failing witchcraft stories and while in a small town, gets an offer of his dreams. While investigating strange deaths in the town, Hall is thrown headlong into a blended world of dreams & reality.

The film is not the completely terrible; there are moments when you really want to find out what happens next, but with bad green screens, cgi, and extremely bad pacing issues the film becomes hard to watch and ultimately a letdown. Written, Directed & Produced by Francis Ford Coppola the film never really had a solid sense of direction. I feel like too many plot elements resulted in the film being overly complex.

The acting in the film was one of the only qualities I enjoyed in the film. Val Kilmer holds his own, and re-affirms why he was so popular in the 90’s, Young Elle Fanning hits a homerun as V, and gives her older sister a run for her money. The rest of the cast is decent, but none really stand out as great.

Unfortunately, Twixt is not for everyone. Some will hail its artistic cinematography and used of “Touch Of Color”, will others will really get lost in the muck. The pacing issues are the hardest to get through. The middle of the film makes the film drag on for what seems like an eternity. Lack of movement and anything exciting left me wanting more, so when the film actually starts to pick up, it abruptly ends. The ending left me saying “WTF” and “You got to be fucking kidding me”. Nothing is resolved and nothing is really explained.

The most distracting aspect of the film is the weird and often overly fake green screen. By the looks of it, the effect was to add a dreamy aspect to the film but unfortunately it fell very short. I get the goal but it just wasn’t successful.

The film just doesn’t really do much for me. There are just too many aspects of the film that make this a very low caliber film, and effort by the great Francis Ford Coppola. Plagued by terrible pacing, low rate cgi green screens GLP gives Twixt, a 1 out of 5 stabs. If you want to see this film for yourself you can check it out on Amazon.


GLP Rating:

GLP 1 Stab

All Hallows Eve Screen Cap

All Hallows’ Eve (2013)

Halloween is a time for tricks, treats, ghosts, goblins, monsters, and skimpy female costumes. Halloween has had its fair share of negativity over the years. Razorblades in apples, cyanide in Pixy Stix and kids being abducted while trick or treating are just some of the creepy stories we all heard growing up. The question is, what would you do if you found a VHS tape in your candy bag? Would you watch it?

All Hallows' EveWritten & Directed by Damien Leone, All Hallows’ Eve is a Halloween anthology film. The film follows a babysitter watching two children for a friend. The boy finds a VHS tape in his candy bag and persists on watching it. The tape contains three horrifying tales of terror, all involving a frightening clown named Art. With the completion of each film strange things begin happening around the house and the babysitter makes a shocking discovery.

All Hallows’ Eve is a pretty damn good film. Each of the three tales are written very well, and are very different from each other. The standout story lines for AHE are the last short and overall arch story. The other two tales are good, but pale in comparison. I think the first two films are missing the shock value of the others. Although when they are put together the pacing works great. It seemed to gradually get more intense as the film drew on, culminating to the shocking final moments of the film.

The film stars Catherine A. Callahan, Marie Maser, Katie Maguire, and Kayla Lian. Each leading lady did very well in their respective roles and an all-around fine job. Making his return is Art the Clown played by Mike Giannelli. Before All Hallows’ Eve came to fruition, a short film named Terrifier made an appearance on YouTube. This film would serve as the catalyst for All Hallows’ Eve’s inception, as well as, the start to Art the Clown’s reign of terror. This short film is included in the feature as the last VHS tale and I will say Damien Leone left the best short for last.

The film is heavy on the gore for all you blood hungry freaks. Boasting some pretty incredible practical effects, the viewers at home are treated with severed limbs, deformed creatures, a beheading, aliens, and tons more. I was also impressed with some of the weapons that were used including a chain with rusty blades and needles attached to it. One of the films greatest strengths is its use of camera filters. The aged look of the film stock really boosts its credibility and puts a nice touch to the film. The film is light on nudity and only has one scene that is questionable but I won’t give that away. The best part of All Hallows’ Eve is Art the clown. In my opinion Art has the capability of becoming the next big horror movie icon.

Released by Image Entertainment in association with Ruthless Pictures All Hallows’ Eve is one hell of a ride. Starting from humble beginnings to a full length feature the film, All Hallows’ Eve makes a strong case to put itself amongst the Halloween greats. With an iconic main villain and strong practical effects GLP gives this Halloween mainstay a 4 out of 5 stabs. You can pick up the DVD here.



GLP Rating:

4 stabs