Paranormal Incident (2011)

Where do I start, Paranormal Incident is for all intensive purposes…not good. This film is just another casualty of the most recent found footage craze that Paranormal Activity revamped and capitalized on. I really tried to like this movie, I went into it with an open mind and all I got in return was boredom and regret for even watching it.

Long convoluted story short, Paranormal Incident is about 5 college student that travel to an “abandoned” sanitarium to investigate and prove the existence of the paranormal for their parapsychology final. The film starts with a young man in a hospital bed,  he is then interrogated for the death of his friends. While interrogated he is then shown the footage from the Paranormal Incidentinvestigation. The film periodically jumps back and forth from the found footage to the man being interrogated.

The acting is very forced and stiff, I didn’t believe that these kids were scared & I didn’t even believe they were college students. With that being such a distracting aspect, the character development suffered greatly. In my opinion in order to enjoy a film in any genre, you have to connect with at least one character in the film or have some emotion toward them…this film did not do any of that. All I could think about while watching this movie was “When are these people going to die!” I felt like I was watching a daytime soap opera rather than a horror movie.

Beyond the characters the “scares”, if you even want to call them that, are not scary or creative. The makers of this film pretty much telegraphed every scare so you could see them a mile away. The best part about found footage films are the scares, and the fact that most of them come literally out of nowhere and this film did none of that.

Collectively this film is garbage. I would not even wish this film on my worst enemy. The whole film just stinks of raw sewage and overacting. The “abandonded”  sanitarium wasn’t even abandoned. It was supposed to be vacant for 30 some years and some areas looked brand new! I cant even write about this film anymore as I feel like I’m wasting more of my life away. The only good thing about this film was the cuts of the dude cheating on his girlfriend with some random chick with amazing breasts. For that alone GLP gives this film 1 out of 5 stabs. Terrible acting, Slow moving plot, weak scares, and bad shooting locations were the death of this film from the start.

If for some reason you still want to see this atrocity you can purchase it here. View the trailer below.


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GLP 1 Stab

Dark Worlds: Slasher (2012)

I am a total sucker for the Slasher genre. Out of all the different incarnations of horror, slashers have somehow pierced their way into my soul and because of that I can’t get enough. My favorite period for slasher films is the 80’s, the golden era, but as a fan of the genre I have to watch just about everything that comes out. Generally with new slasher films I am left wanting more, or I am generally let down.

397421_310033385705897_19797552_n  I found out about Dark Worlds: Slasher in a rather unusual way…my fiancée. This is unusual because she is not a fan of horror. I will drag her to conventions, make her sit though the latest remake, and then she will listen to me bitch about how bad is sucked and blah blah…usually with a smile or the glow of her cell phone. In this case she saw someone she knew at Days of The Dead in Indianapolis a couple of weeks ago, and that got the ball rolling. She spoke with the girl the next day, then the girl contacted me, and put me in contact with her cousin Zach Daggy. Zach is an internet dj, podcast host, and writer based out of my home state of Indiana. We talked on Facebook and Zach was kind enough to send me a digital copy of Dark Worlds: Slasher.

Dark Worlds: Slasher is a short film based a story in Zach Daggy’s novel Dark Worlds: Project 31. Basically the film follows William Rosum (Beau Yotti) aka The Careview Slasher as he makes his latest kill and stalks his next victim Allison Smith (Michelle Shields) aka Snow White.

This film runs only about 20 minuets, which while short, it really delivers. With an interesting take on the slasher genre this short film will have you captivated. The film takes place mostly in the killer’s head, hearing his thoughts on his killing style, victims, and society in general. The film has a lot of nice nods to the slasher genre mentioning Crystal Lake (Friday The 13th), and Elm Street ( A Nightmare on Elm Street) as well as offering a welcomed similarity to Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon.

The film is really shot well, the angles the director chose are very complimentary to the setting and feel of the short. I think the stand out of this film, for me, was the impressive dialog. With such a short time to connect with your characters, the dialog really helped establish the characters rather quickly and gave some back story to our very own Careview Slasher.

I will not give away what happens in this film but I will say that the final 7 minuets will have you saying “No Fucking Way”. I really enjoyed this short and am looking forward to more stories to come from the Dark Worlds project. My only complaint is that I wish it was longer! GLP gives this local effort an impressive 4 out of 5 stabs for great dialog, cinematography, and premise. If you would like to check out this film, it is now available on DVD. Please take some time to check out more of Zach Daggy’s work at his website here.View the trailer below.

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Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Sleepaway Camp is a movie that I will absolutely never forget, and for those of you that have seen this cult classic you understand why. Sleepaway Camp really embodies that of the Slasher genre. With slick kills and an ending that will have reeling for days after you first see it, GLP has nothing but praise for Robert Hiltzik’s little gem of a slasher flick.

This title has a familiar story line to most slashers of the early 80’. Camp setting, unknown killer on the loose, ect. What it does have , however, is a fresh look & twist on what was then a fairly new formula. All the usual suspects are also present. You have the bully, the hot head, the quiet one, the old wise man, the nerdy kid, and a slew of random that are introduced but not really expanded upon. Even with that, the film manages to find a way to keep its audience captivated.sleepaway

The basic plot is 2 live in cousins Ricky and Angela go to Camp Arawak for that summer. Being the new kid at summer camp Angela is picked on by most of the camp regulars. But something sinister is picking the tormentors off one by one, until the final revile that will leave you stunned.

At the time the formula had not been done too much, Camps however seemed to be the go to setting for horror movies in the early 80’s. Can your really blame them though. I always thought there was something extremely creepy about being surrounded by all that nature, the feeling of seclusion, the endless woods, and most of the time a bleak lake. Regardless of the popular setting, Hiltzik made it work. Not so much by focusing on the setting but developing the story around it.

The two main characters Ricky and Angela played by Jonathan Tiersten and Felissa Rose really make this film great. The evolution of Felissa’s character throughout the film is mesmerizing. She doesn’t even say a word until almost the 30 minute mark, causing an air of mystery to the character of Angela.  Ricky on the other hand is almost an exact opposite to her. Ricky is a foul mouthed hot head teenager who is constantly sticking up for his cousin, and having been to the camp before, seems to have a good grasp on the individuals at Camp Arawak.

The film boasts rather impressive special effects. All of the scenes are very well done. Even with a rather low amount of the red stuff, the kills are effective. I think m favorite part of the movie besides the ending is the fact that there are a large amount of deaths that don’t use traditional weapons. Hiltzik did a really good job of incorporating the setting for cause of deaths. What I mean by that is, using items that are not necessarily man made like guns and knifes, but things that nature itself created.

All and all this film really optimizes the early 80’s slasher genre. With great special effects, a great leading cast, and a fresh take on a relatively common formula. Sleepaway Camp will deliver to just about every horror fan out there. Don’t let the lack of red stuff fool you. This film will deliver all the goods and maybe a little more than you expect! GLP gives this move 5 stabs, for its, even then, fresh take on the slasher formula, excellent leading characters and the most shocking slasher ending of all time! If you are interested in buying the film you can get the stand alone DVD here, or if your luck you can get your hands on a good copy of the special edition “Survival Kit” boxset which is now out of print here. You can view the original trailer below!


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The Burning (1981)

The Burning is one of those slasher films that once you watch it, you will not forget about it. When I think of slasher movie stand outs, this one is definitely in my top five. For those of you who are not familiar with this title let me run it down for you. A camp caretaker who is notorious for being a cruel and unsavory man winds up on the wrong side of a prank gone bad. The prank leaves him horribly disfigured with terrible burns. Upon his release from the hospital, the caretaker returns to the old camp and has some fun with garden shears.


The Burning is a tale of blood and tears that most slasher fans will fall in love with instantly. The film features the motion picture debut of Jason Alexander, Fisher Stevens and Oscar winner Holly Hunter. While little Holly plays the role of Sophie she is actually hard to recognize but, Fisher and Jason have rather significant roles that showcase their talent even as young actors.

The Burning was also one of the first films released by Miramax Films with Bob Weinstein taking on co-writing duties, as well as Harvey Weinstein as a producer. Until its long awaited DVD release in September 2007 this film was a rather rare piece of cinematic gold. The film was under quite a bit of controversy in the UK when it was first released, resulting in it being place on the notorious Video Nasties list. The notorious RAFT MASSACRE was one of the driving forces for the ban.

Make-Up effects artist Tom Savini is probably the driving force behind this cult classics post theatrical success. The Burning’s death scenes are some of the best in the slasher genre. The stomach scissors, and raft scene will undoubtedly haunt you for years to come. The acting however is at times hit or miss, but with the abundant kills and creepy atmosphere it really doesn’t matter that much.

I would HIGHLY suggest this film to any slasher fan, or general horror fan for that matter. The story is solid, and the kills are even better. Right now you can currently buy the film on DVD at Amazon. View the trailer below.

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